My camera was stolen last night (the night, dancing, steaks, wine, new friends and more drinking were worth it though), so you pretty people are just going to have to believe me when I tell you that Chrissy looks great as an Eighties weight trainer; Collin and Ali have played a bongo together; Harry only pretends to dislike up-skirt paparazzi shots; Ali will non-verbally tell you to suck it; a group of gringos can work it hard under the Calle Estados Unidos sign; Harry did steal Ali’s debit card right outta her pants; the red McLean Ranch house sits above beautiful, cow-filled pastures and eucalyptus forests; I woke up to 5 volcanoes every morning; Maca’s new bangs are cute as hell; 9-year-old red head girls hold chickens like they are puppies; large men are airlifted by helicopter from the water to the beaches of Valparaíso; the road to Mendoza is twisty as hell; the parks and vineyards of Mendoza are vast and gorgeous; Alex’s head fits through ferry chairs; Punta del Diablo has the most epic sunrises and cutest puppies who lick my face and colorful houses; Montevideo has incredibly cool, old, abandoned colonial buildings; Whitney’s silhouette does yoga in front of a setting sun and her legs can frame buildings as she does cartwheels over the Puente de la Mujer; I can make little girls giggle jumping into flocks of pigeons; La Bomba De Tiempo’s orange uniformed percussionists will force your ass to shake; and the most beautiful, delicious steaks are in Buenos Aires.