Maggie MK Hess — The Monarch Review
Tinder Is Really Awkward When We Can’t All Be Humans Safely – Maggie MK Hess
Friday, June 12, 2015 12:21 — 0 Comments
This culture of violence against women that the world has been rocking for the last couple of millennia has a lot of downsides.
What Men on Tinder Really Want – Maggie MK Hess
Thursday, June 11, 2015 10:40 — 0 Comments
Things seem to go especially wrong when men try to describe what they want on Tinder. I assume this is true of women describing what they want as well. There’s just something so damn awful about listening to a person lay out their expectations for someone they haven’t even met yet. It never comes across as helpful. It comes across as so entitled. I am not on Tinder to apply to be your girlfriend. This is not a you-buyer/me-seller situation. We’re both in charge of selling ourselves and seeing who lingers while eyeing the goods. Describing what you expect from a woman doesn’t remotely […]
An Annotated Tinder Profile – Maggie MK Hess
Wednesday, June 10, 2015 9:39 — 0 Comments
About Beauty lies on the inside (1), but I am a sucker for pretty eyes and a sunny smile (2). I’m a Graphic and web designer, and I own a branding/design business (3). I love hiking, jamming, photography and just about every sport known to man (4). I’m good at building and fixing stuff (5). Looking for a somewhat intellectual person (6). Kinda old fashioned (7). Footnotes 1. I hear sensitive guys get laid more. 2. You gotta be hot, though. You gotta be hot. 3. I’m unemployed / freelance a little bit for my dad. 4. I’ll do anything […]
A Guide to Translating Things Men Say on Tinder – Maggie MK Hess
Tuesday, June 9, 2015 10:10 — 2 Comments
There are lots of phrases that appear over and over on Tinder that make me wonder if we really are all speaking the English language. Because while you’re saying one thing, I’m hearing something…else. “Positive vibes only, please.†No emotions, please. “Work hard, play harder.†Pi Kappa Phi “I know how to treat a woman right.†I don’t know how to treat a woman like a human being. “Boyfriend material.†All women want the same thing, and that thing is me. “Willing to lie about where we met.†I’m ashamed women won’t date me IRL. “Looking for casual fun.†Sex. Not mini-golf. […]
Why Tinder Is Better Than Candy Crush Saga – Maggie MK Hess
Monday, June 8, 2015 10:06 — 0 Comments
Say it’s a sunny day. You’re walking down the street, looking at everybody you pass, and everybody’s heads are up, and people are smiling. Everyone is interesting. Some of them look like people you’d like to be friends with. Someone is the best bucket drummer you’ve ever seen. And some of them are handsome motherf***ers who you’d like to date. Maybe you even make eye contact with someone. But how in the world are you going to meet him? Basically no one is aggressive enough to ask someone out while passing them on the street, and that attention is almost never […]
The answer isn't poetry, but rather language
- Richard Kenney
