Blood trickled down my arm when I added another name with a jagged piece of glass. It was the fifth family that gave me back to the system since I entered it when my parents disappeared, but this time I wasn’t going back to foster care. Even going back wouldn’t help since I would be eighteen in a month and put on the streets.

Night fell like a curtain dropping on a bad act and I reconsidered going back to my last home, but the foster mother said she was terminally ill and couldn’t care for me anymore. Lies. Nobody wanted me. Rain started to fall making people walking in the Philadelphia streets look sinister and I ran toward the elevated train for shelter. With no money I knew what I would have to do.

A man wearing a hood hiding his face walked toward me when I flipped red-streaked

blonde hair over my shoulder and lowered my top. The train rumbled by overhead sending vibrations through my heart when he offered me twenty dollars and pointed toward an empty building. It contained a ripped-apart couch covered with a stained blanket. The stains looked dark and smeared like blood.

“I better leave. I just remembered I am supposed to meet someone at the station.” I turned toward the door.

“I paid you. Now get your clothes off.” He stepped in front of the doorway cutting off any avenue of escape.

I started to undress, but slowed down and looked toward the window. It made him nervous and he threw me onto the couch. A sliver of light shimmering off a broken piece of glass caught my eye when my head fell to the side. I tried to reach it, but he rolled me over on my stomach and started tearing at my pants. With a final lurch I grabbed the glass. He lowered his pants and put his hands around my neck. I gagged and tried to move, but his strength and weight on top of me made it impossible to escape. He shoved my head into the couch and tried to remove my pants with one hand. It gave me a chance to swing the glass at his leg aiming for a point close to his crotch.

The scream echoed through the empty building and someone upstairs yelled down. “Get out of here.”

The strangler limped out leaving a trail of blood. A man came down from upstairs. “Are you alright?”

“No,” I cried and felt the indentation his fingers left on my neck.

“You better sit down. He won’t come back.”

“Who was that?”

“The Kensington Strangler.” He handed me a wanted poster. “You could have been killed and became his fourth victim.”

“Shit,” I collapsed on the floor. When I opened my eyes the old man looked at me and covered me with a blanket.

The sun came through the broken windows illuminating the trash scattered through the empty building. “Good morning, do you feel okay?”

“Yes,” I rubbed my neck.

“We should call the police.”

“No, they will put me back in the system and I’m going to be eighteen in a month anyway.”

“Foster care?”

“No the honor society of a private high school.” He didn’t laugh.  “Yes, foster care. I want to get away from here before the strangler finds me again. He may want to kill me since I cut him.”

“Where will you go?”

“Another state. New Jersey. I have enough to get a bus.”

The sound of people walking outside made me look around.

“Thank you,” I handed him five of the strangler’s twenty dollars and ran out to the bus station.

The images outside the bus changed from the graffiti plagued walls of abandoned businesses and homes to the shattered building of Camden before opening up to the suburbs. The bus stopped in a strip mall in a typical New Jersey suburb. A social worker showed me a report

that said my parents came from a similar place named Evesham Township. She could be in the

same town, but I failed to see any signs.

I looked around in awe. The huge houses with perfectly maintained lawns made me feel worthless. Why did God bless them and forget about me? These people have everything and must be happy all the time.

The sound of barking dogs led me to a wooded area criss-crossed with dirt paths covered with dog prints and an occasional footprint.

I feared someone seeing me and the questions that would follow so I stayed in the deep brush. A rustling sound made me jump and sent shivers through me. I backed up until I saw a small dog approaching slowly. Its matted fur was speckled with thorns from a sticker bush.

Relief flowed through me and I put my hand out drawing the dog to me. With great apprehension it allowed me to pet it and slowly pull out the thorns. Afterwards it cuddled by my feet and fell asleep. I only left it to get water from a hose outside the concrete building shushing the dogs in the outdoor enclosures.

Lightning flashed in the distance and dark clouds drifted over head. A woman closed the outdoor enclosure after getting the other dogs inside. When she finished, she stood by the backdoor smoking a cigarette peering into the woods. I remained motionless with the small dog by my side. A jagged bolt of lightning followed by an explosion of sound made me scream. I feared she heard me, but she darted inside and slammed the door shut. It scared her just as much and I saw a piece of metal hanging off the door knob.

“Keys,” I said to the dog. “Please leave without them.”

I looked up at the dark clouds fearing another strike, and picked up the small dog.

The lone car finally drove out of the parking lot. With lightning bolts zigzagging across

the sky, I darted toward the door and I laughed with relief when it opened. I pocketed the keys when I entered the dark hallways to a chorus of dog barks.

The dogs jumped against the bars and spun in endless circles when I walked past them. I tried to shush them to no avail fearing the noise could draw attention to anyone passing by. I fell into a corner of a storage closet holding the small dog until the others finally stopped barking. The dogs calmed down and I curled up on a blanket hoping I would wake up before anyone opened the building. The rain pattered on the roof interrupted by thunder making sleep hard to come by, but I was used to bad nights and slowly dozed off.

The dogs barking woke me at first light. They knew someone was coming to feed them soon. I stretched and found a sink to drink from when I heard a car in the front of the building. I grabbed a bag of dog food and picked up my small friend, but he didn’t respond to my petting. His nose felt dry and warm.

Someone came into the building and I hurried out back. I found myself in the same hiding place with a sicker dog. I could bring it to the front of the shelter, but it would mean saying goodbye forever. I had no identification or money and would never get it back. I lost so many people in my life I wanted to hold on to the dog a little longer.

I waited until night to sneak in and search for an anti-biotic figuring the dog became infected by the thorns.

The day went by slow and I avoided an occasional volunteer walking the dogs. Nearby I saw a cemetery filled with small rocks as headstones. I could never let them euthanize my little friend. The dog walked among the rocks sniffing at the small graves. Was he looking for an old friend? The sight broke my heart. The sound of coughing made me spin around and I saw a boy smoking a cigarette among a group of pine trees. I watched him pull out a small plastic bag and roll up a dollar. The sniffling sound was familiar to me from the city streets, but it shocked me to see it here. He threw down the drug bag and started to walk away.

The dog started to walk toward the bag. I darted out and grabbed the dog causing the boy to step backwards and put his hands out.

“Who are you?” he yelled.

“Are you an idiot? What if my dog swallowed that drug bag? It could have died.”

“I’m sorry. I just dropped it because nobody ever comes here.”

“Well I am here now.”

“Where did you come from?”

“Nowhere. How about you?”

“You can’t be from nowhere. I live over there.” He pointed at a huge house in the distance.

“You’re rich. It must be nice.”

“Where is nowhere?”

“Nowhere is that way.” I pointed toward Philadelphia.
“Why are you here? Do you work at the shelter? He threw a cigarette down.

“No. I am living here for the moment.”

“You and the dog?”

“Yes.”

“What’s its name?”

“I haven’t named him yet. It’s a boy though.”
“We’ll I’m Tucker. What is your name?”

“Nadia. Why are you doing drugs? You must have enough money to buy anything you

want.”

“Money isn’t everything,” Tucker lit another cigarette.

“It could have helped me a lot of times. I haven’t even changed clothes in days.”

“I could tell,” he laughed.

With my free hand I punched his arm. “I really need money for this dog. It is sick.”

“I can bring you some.”

“I am going to see if they have any medicine in here—,” I stopped and knew I said too much.

“Break in?”

I walked away mad at my stupidity.

“I won’t tell anyone. Believe me. You saw me doing drugs. You can tell on me.”

“Maybe I can trust you.” I turned back. “Can you get money for some food? I’m starving.”

Tucker led me to his house and went inside leaving me out front. People drove by staring at a stranger in their mist. What did they think I would do rob them or steal their children? He finally came out with an arm load of snacks and opened the garage. We indulged in a junk food feast. I even laughed at his dumb jokes and for the time being I only worried about the dog.

Tucker picked up the dog. “My parents never let me get a dog.”

“Why not?”

“They say it makes the house dirty. They worry about stupid things. They never care about what I want.”

“I know how that feels, but I thought everybody here was happy. It seems like heaven.”

“It’s more like hell. My parents spend all their time fighting. They never even notice me.

He picked up a bat after handing the dog to me. “I made the high school team and my father never even saw a game.”

“I was never on a team. I’m not a team player.”

He laughed. “What do you want to do?”

“Become a veterinarian, but it will never happen.”

“I’m sorry. Where are your parents?”

I looked down and didn’t answer. The boy lit a cigarette and stood by the door. It opened and he threw the cigarette in my direction. A man in a suit glared at us.

“Tucker, what is going on?”

“This is a friend of mine.”

I smiled. No one ever called me a friend before. “I’m Nadia.”

His father ignored me. “What is this? I found it in your room.” He held out a small packet of white powder.

Tucker cowered in fear. “Hers,” he pointed at me.

“No,” I stuttered.

“Get out of here you piece of shit.” His father yelled and stepped toward me. I gathered up the dog and ran without stopping until I reached the shelter. The tears fell for a long time. How could I trust someone again? I am so stupid. I slapped myself in the face until it burned red. With a sharp rock I pierced the skin of my arm and the blood felt good on my skin. I would have gone farther except for the little dog. It looked worse and I debated dropping it at the shelter, but

feared they would kill it.

Night finally came and I approached the building hoping they didn’t change the locks. The last car drove away and I turned the key. I smiled when it turned and the door opened. The dogs erupted in a chorus of barks again and jumped on their cage doors. After they quieted I peeked in a room with a small night light and discovered a million cat’s eyes watching me. It looked like Halloween night in a witch’s castle with all the cats watching me. I turned away and found a locked door.

I hoped the lack of funds prevented them from installing a security camera, but doubted anyone could identify me anyway. It was one benefit of having no connections or family.

I kicked the door causing it to splinter at the handle and fly open. The dogs barked and went crazy as I searched the cabinets.

“You better hurry up.”

The voice made me fall back against the wall. I was caught.

Tucker stepped forward. “I looked up what to get.” He searched through the cabinet until he pulled out a small bottle. “This is the right one.” He held it out to me.

“You blamed the drugs on me,” I grabbed the medicine.

“I’m sorry. I panicked. I’m afraid of my father.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I knew you were coming so I wanted to get information for you.”

“What about your parents?”

“They had a huge fight. My father pushed my mother down and she left. I think they are getting a divorce.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, but I think they blame me.” His eyes glistened.

“I know how that feels I blame myself often for being a foster child.” I rubbed his arm.

The sound of a door opening made me freeze and grab on to his arm. “We have to get out

of here?”

“You run. I’ll follow after I distract them.”

“No, come too.” He kissed me and pushed me toward the back door.

A flashlight beam penetrated the darkness, “Is anyone there?”

The dogs went crazy when I ran pass them out to the woods. I waited for Tucker to follow, but he never came out and I saw a policeman lead him out front and place handcuffs on him. I walked closer.

“Who was with you?” The policeman demanded.

“Nobody. I did it,” he said. I knew his parents would kill him for this.

The car drove away after the policeman put him in back. I saw him put his head down and he never looked up.

He protected me. I used an eye dropper to give the dog medicine and it showed

improvement the next morning. Alone again, I had to do something. I left the dog at the front of the shelter in an empty cage with the medicine.

The next day I heard the sound of swinging that made me remember the horrible playgrounds in the city.

I followed the sound and gasped in horror. Tucker looked down from a tree branch, his neck was crooked and a rope cut into it.  The police took him down and said after the robbery they released him to his parents. Later that night they responded to a domestic dispute at his house.

That night, I tried the back door wanting to see the dog one more time. The key

didn’t turn. A hand grabbed me. “I know what you did?” A lady said.

“Let me go.”

“Hold on. You left the dog here.”

“Yes. Is it okay?”

“Thanks to you. It ran away one day when a volunteer didn’t hook up its leash correctly. You found it.”

“I’m sorry for breaking in.”

“The dog is going to be okay. Do you want to see it?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Do you have anywhere to go?”

“No, I’m an orphan.” I looked away.

“The dog is at my house. I am saving it for a special person.”

“Who?” I looked down and rubbed my eyes.

“I live alone and have an extra room. Maybe you can stay for a while and we’ll see how it goes. I know the dog will be happy to see you.”

“Why are you doing this for me? I did a lot of bad things.”

“I was a foster kid once. I knew hard times and you did it all for a dog. I would have done the same thing. That’s why I opened the shelter. I saw you in the woods with the dog and left the key in the back door for you.” She looked toward the woods. A breeze blew through the woods sending whispers through the leaves. “And I know you lost a friend.”

I couldn’t answer.

“The police released him to his parents and they gave him a hard time. He couldn’t handle it.”

I remained silent.

“Do you have a name for the dog?” She asked.

“Tucker,” I said and looked up when a wisp of smoke drifted over the tree tops shinning

bright against the dark sky.

“Don’t worry. There is always hope, even though he—.”

The sound of a screeching car in the front of the building made us hurry to see what happened. A pit bull shook with fear by the front door. We wrapped it in a blanket and I carried it in careful to not touch the numerous scars on its body.

“It’s easy to give up,” I said hoping the dog wouldn’t feel the same way.