If anyone wants to win a World Series you know where to find me

think Cincinnati

northern Kentucky

a white C on my cap

bleeding Red red

number fourteen

Charlie Hustle

Red Machine

here I am laughing with Griffey

here I am chatting with Morgan

here I am managing the team I’m playing for

here I am leading off

and here I am playing second

and here I am playing first

Remember him?

Remember that guy?

Of course we do, you say, but

But what?

I admitted to what you were going to say

I wrote a book about it and nobody wanted to ask me about it

And I didn’t want to talk about it

They wanted to talk about the other thing

I didn’t want to talk about that, either

They asked me whether I thought Jeter would make three thousand hits and I said I thought he would

They asked whether I thought he’d make four thousand and I said I didn’t think so

here’s me stealing home

here’s me barreling around first base at the All-Star game

nobody’s going to stop me from scoring

and I’m not even that fast

but get me on base

I’ll bunt

I’ll walk

a walk is as good as a run

next question

I don’t want to talk about that

next question

no comment

next question

okay here’s the thing about that

take all of them

Ruth

Aaron

Jeter

Kilbrew

Boggs

Junior

Ichiro

Ripken

Carew

Robinson

Gwynn

Cobb

Yaz

Molitor

Yount

Brock

Palmeiro

Henderson

Mays

Wagner

Clemente

Winfield

Stan

Eddie

George

Cap

Tris

and then me

and then take me

four thousand two hundred fifty-six hits

now

nobody’s going to beat that

I don’t care who you are

my competition died in 1921 his name was Ty Cobb

don’t talk to me about Ichiro

great player

great player

I’m better

next question

can you repeat the question?

the question was “How many hits does it take to get into the Hall of Fame?”

that’s a pretty good question