Great god of thieves, thrift shopping, carpet dealing, and checks both good and bad. Mighty patron and protector of all who sit on benches, sleep on trains, and bathe in public restrooms.

You are king of downtown, ruler of the department store. All those asking for spare change, pray to you. All those carrying shopping bags, worship you. The salesman, he is your humble servant. The bike messenger, your devotee.

You are everything tapped into a keyboard, scribbled on walls, and written in the papers. All phone calls, faxes, late letters, and love poems come from you. All whispers, tasteless jokes, half-truths, and long looks are inspired by you.

Oh honored Mercury, head of the global market, shop steward of the industrial union—you are all that, all that, and so much more.