2015 — The Monarch Review — Page 8
What Men on Tinder Really Want – Maggie MK Hess
Thursday, June 11, 2015 10:40 — 0 Comments
Things seem to go especially wrong when men try to describe what they want on Tinder. I assume this is true of women describing what they want as well. There’s just something so damn awful about listening to a person lay out their expectations for someone they haven’t even met yet. It never comes across as helpful. It comes across as so entitled. I am not on Tinder to apply to be your girlfriend. This is not a you-buyer/me-seller situation. We’re both in charge of selling ourselves and seeing who lingers while eyeing the goods. Describing what you expect from a woman doesn’t remotely […]
An Annotated Tinder Profile – Maggie MK Hess
Wednesday, June 10, 2015 9:39 — 0 Comments
About Beauty lies on the inside (1), but I am a sucker for pretty eyes and a sunny smile (2). I’m a Graphic and web designer, and I own a branding/design business (3). I love hiking, jamming, photography and just about every sport known to man (4). I’m good at building and fixing stuff (5). Looking for a somewhat intellectual person (6). Kinda old fashioned (7). Footnotes 1. I hear sensitive guys get laid more. 2. You gotta be hot, though. You gotta be hot. 3. I’m unemployed / freelance a little bit for my dad. 4. I’ll do anything […]
NBA Finals Predictions Game 3
Tuesday, June 9, 2015 13:30 — 2 Comments
Willie Fitzgerald, Spike Friedman, Shaun Scott, Leah Baltus and I (Jake) love basketball and the NBA. We’ll be riveted tonight watching the third game of what could be one of the greatest Finals matchups in recent history. Leading up to the show, we couldn’t help but offer our predictions. Here they are:
A Guide to Translating Things Men Say on Tinder – Maggie MK Hess
Tuesday, June 9, 2015 10:10 — 2 Comments
There are lots of phrases that appear over and over on Tinder that make me wonder if we really are all speaking the English language. Because while you’re saying one thing, I’m hearing something…else. “Positive vibes only, please.†No emotions, please. “Work hard, play harder.†Pi Kappa Phi “I know how to treat a woman right.†I don’t know how to treat a woman like a human being. “Boyfriend material.†All women want the same thing, and that thing is me. “Willing to lie about where we met.†I’m ashamed women won’t date me IRL. “Looking for casual fun.†Sex. Not mini-golf. […]
Why Tinder Is Better Than Candy Crush Saga – Maggie MK Hess
Monday, June 8, 2015 10:06 — 0 Comments
Say it’s a sunny day. You’re walking down the street, looking at everybody you pass, and everybody’s heads are up, and people are smiling. Everyone is interesting. Some of them look like people you’d like to be friends with. Someone is the best bucket drummer you’ve ever seen. And some of them are handsome motherf***ers who you’d like to date. Maybe you even make eye contact with someone. But how in the world are you going to meet him? Basically no one is aggressive enough to ask someone out while passing them on the street, and that attention is almost never […]
NBA Finals Predictions Game 1
Thursday, June 4, 2015 17:53 — 0 Comments
Willie Fitzgerald, Spike Friedman, Shaun Scott and I (Jake) love basketball and love the NBA. We’ll be riveted tonight watching the first game of what could be one of the greatest Finals matchups in recent history. Leading up to the show, we couldn’t help but offer our predictions. Here they are: Willie Fitzgerald: Right off the bat: who ya got in this series? This game? Let’s preserve our foolishness for posterity. Spike Friedman: This interminable week of pre-Finals hype has revealed this to be amongst the lowest stakes NBA Finals for me as a neutral. Both of these franchises […]
Lightening the Load – Andrew Bartels
Wednesday, June 3, 2015 12:19 — 0 Comments
It’s the end of the school year. College students all across the nation are tossing their notebooks aside and heaving sighs of accomplishment, relief, abandonment. As a teacher I feel the same, happy to be done with tests, grades, and lectures, for three months at least. For some it’s the end of a college career and on to, as they say, “The Real World.†So long to the dorm, that cozy hive. So long to all that crap I bought at Ikea with my student loans. That’s right. The end of the school year is a boon for dumpster divers, […]
Top 10 90’s Music Videos – Marco Collins
Wednesday, June 3, 2015 12:13 — 0 Comments
Everyone in the Seattle music scene knows the name Marco Collins – he’s the affable, talkative, Hall of Fame DJ credited with breaking bands like Beck and Pearl Jam. He is the 90’s star-making DJ from 107.7 The End who was pals with Nirvana. He was the life of the party – to an untenable degree. Marco is also the central figure of a new documentary premiering at SIFF on Wednesday, The Glamour & The Squalor, a film about his life as a music lover, addict and, now, Emerald City fixture. To celebrate TG&TS and to pay tribute to 90’s music […]
Two Poems – Pete Mason
Monday, June 1, 2015 12:22 — 0 Comments
BRIGHAM ROAD AND THE FOLLOWING SUMMER At the clinic they gave you a paper bag of pills and none of us opened our mouths on the drive home. Our apartment full of flies born in empty beer bottles that were left by the fridge. Black tape hanging like streamers from the ceiling to gather tiny bodies in with some chemical pretending to be sugar enough to lick. You took the ultrasound from the nightstand, packed it away as carefully as a gift. We stripped the bed to its frame, sheets and comforter put in the back of a rusting van, […]
Hassan Hajjaj’s World Premiere and the Assumptions of Modernity – Ahsan Butt
Thursday, May 28, 2015 11:46 — 0 Comments
Hassan Hajjaj styles, photographs, installs, interior-designs, dee-jays—essentially, he arts. His works have featured in Brooklyn, Paris, and London museums. And now, he’s a documentarian. The world premiere of his first film, A Day in the Life of Karima: A Henna Girl, was hosted two Wednesdays ago at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art’s (LACMA) Bing Theater. The (free) event included a Q&A with Hajjaj and Karima herself. The film has been dubbed a companion piece to his most famous exhibit—‘Kesh Angels—which centered around a series of photographs of Karima and her henna crew posed on motorbikes while dressed in […]
The answer isn't poetry, but rather language
- Richard Kenney
